Pink Hair and Blue Balls
by Thesml216
Summary: Yusuke decides that he is going to pull pranks on the team, will he come out alive? No lemon, but there are mentions of Kurama/Hiei sex in the first chapter.
1. Pink Hair and Blue Balls

Pink Hair and Blue Blues

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters mentioned below. They all belong to Yoshihiro Togashi.

Warning the following fanfic contains: mentions of Kurama/Hiei sex, some slight occ (maybe), language, and crude humor. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

"Yusuke what are doing?" Kurama asked the spirit detective as he walked by with an evil grin spread across his face and a bucket full of liquid. "I'm going to pull a prank on Hiei, come watch." Yusuke replied as he began to set up his prank.

"I don't think that's a very wise thing to do, Yusuke." The spirit fox said as he watched the brown-eyed half-demon open the door to Hiei's and his own bedroom an inch and then balance the bucket full of what he assumed to be water, "Besides, what makes you think that Hiei will even fall for this trap that you have laid out?"

"Well, he was asleep on your bed last time I saw him, so I'll bet that he'll be too tired to dodge." Yusuke beamed back at the green-eyed fox.

"Oh, well just make sure to clean up the mess when you're done." Kurama turned to walk away, but a thought hit him and he froze. "Yusuke what were you doing in my bedroom?" The demon fox turned to face him. "Oh, um…," Yusuke thought for a moment and then continued, "I was looking for Hiei, and I wanted to be sure that he was still asleep."

"Okay, then." Kurama said still eyeing the idiot detective suspiciously, "Well as I said before just be sure to clean up your mess when you're done." The fox turned and walked off into another room, not wanting to be there when Hiei killed the spirit detective.

Yusuke turned towards the door and yelled as loud as he could, "Hiei, come quick! Kurama's been hurt!" As he yelled this Yusuke ducked off into the hall restroom peered out of the crack of the door. He watched as Hiei came limping out of the bedroom and the bucket containing not water, but pink hair dye came spilling down upon the demon's head.

The bucket made a dull 'thunk' sound as it bounced off of Hiei's head and landed on the floor. The small fire demon just stood there for a moment, completely shocked, and with dripping wet hair in his face. Then Hiei sent a death glare to murder all death glares straight at the spirit detective, who at this point was laughing so hard that he was literally rolling around on the floor.

"Yusuke!" Hiei yelled, steam pouring off of him, instantly drying the dye into his hair. Yusuke looked up at him and let out a renewed round of laughter. Hiei was standing at his full height, steam raising off his body as he glared at the detective.

The red-eyed demon was wearing a pair of black, silk boxers with ruby red strawberries splashed across them, his chest was bear and scattered across his body were hickeys, scratches, and bite marks, all signs of the rough sex he had had the night before, and his hair, which was the high point of Yusuke's day, was back to its usual Dragon Ball Z Super Saiyan style and looked just as it normally did except for the white starburst was now the color of strawberry ice cream.

"Hiei," Kurama said lightly as he walked back into the hallway, "Please don't kill him in the house. Besides I think it looks cute."

Hiei's eye started to twitch, as he growled out, "What looks 'cute'?" Before he could receive an answer Hiei had flitted over into the guest bathroom, standing on the still laughing spirit detective's back, he stared into the mirror; his eye twitching worsened.

"Yusuke!" Hiei snarled as balls of fire appeared in his hands. "Hiei," Kurama whispered into the fire demon's ear as he wrapped his arms around Hiei's tiny waist, "That color looks so cute on you. Wouldn't you like to do something more pleasurable than killing a spirit detective? Hm?"

Kurama began to pepper Hiei's neck and shoulder with feather light kisses. "But…Kurama…" Hiei panted, trying to wiggle out of the green-eyed demon's arms. In response the fox began to suck and nibble at the hollow of the fire demon's throat as one of his hands began to tease and toy with the black and, now, pink haired demon's nipples, while his other hand began to move further south. Hiei began to moan and his panting grew heavy, and just as Kurama's hand reached the waist band of Hiei's boxers Yusuke yelped, "You guys do remember that you're standing on me, right?"

"Let's take this to our bedroom." Kurama purred into Hiei's ear. The panting fire demon tried to reply, but could only nod his head in agreement. The red-haired fox scooped the bite-sized fire demon up into his arms and carried him off into their bedroom.

Yusuke jumped up as he heard the bedroom door close and scurried off into the fox and fire demon's living room to wait for the results of his other prank.

The spirit detective settled down on their couch and turned on the T.V.; after quite a bit of channel surfing he finally landed on Naruto and watched as Naruto and Sasuke battled it out on screen. After two more episodes of Naruto and one of Bleach, Yusuke heard the shower water come on and about five minutes after that he heard Kurama screaming his name clear across the house.

The next thing he knew Hiei's katana was against his throat. "How did you do it?" Hiei asked in an emotionless voice, eyeing the detective with a blank stare. "When you were asleep I replaced your lube with Botan's hair dye." Yusuke answered quickly. Hiei continued to give Yusuke a blank look, before asking, "Botan dyes her hair?" Yusuke nodded slowly, and Hiei began to chuckle lightly and then he began to laugh out right.

"Wait, you're not going to kill me?" Yusuke asked as he watched Hiei sheath his sword "Are you kidding! Kurama is blue balled! That's fucking hilarious!" Hiei said still laughing. "Of course that doesn't mean that doesn't mean that Kurama isn't going to." Hiei continued as vines began to block out the windows and bar the doors.

"Yusuke," Kurama sang out in a deadly calm voice, "Come out, come out, where ever you are." "Oh shit!" Yusuke said as he dove behind the couch. Kurama popped his head over the back of the couch, an evil grin spread out across his face, "Come now, Yusuke. Remember what I said about cleaning up your mess?"

Yah! Thank you for reading my fanfic and if you can please leave me a review letting me know how I did, once again thanks!


	2. For the Love of Pussy

**For the Love of Pussy**

/  
All of the characters mentioned below belong to Yoshihiro Togashi.

Warning this chapter includes: Crude humor, a Kuwabara/Yusuke scene (non-lemon, but still really gross.), and language. You have been warned.  
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"What were you thinking!" Kuwabara questioned the traumatized spirit detective limping along beside him. "It was funny though. You should've seen Kurama's face; I thought he was going to kill me." Yusuke told the oaf walking near him. The two continued walking until they finally reached Kuwabara's house.

"You can come in if you want, Shizuru's not here to bug us." Kuwabara said as he opened the door to the detective. "Sure, I've got nothing better to do today." Yusuke answered as he walked into the house. The two headed off towards Kuwabara's room after getting a small snack from the kitchen.

"Hm, that's odd." the oaf commented as they reached his room. "What's 'odd', Kuwabara?" Yusuke asked, already knowing what was amiss. "Well, Eikichi is normally following me around when I get home, but I can't even sense his energy anywhere near the house." Kuwabara replied as he opened his bedroom door. "Huh, that is 'odd'." The half-demon said, grinning inwardly, happy that his plan was working so well.

"Hey Kuwabara, what's that?" Acting surprised, Yusuke pointed to the blank, white envelope taped to the window. "I don't know Urameshi," The poofy haired man-boy pulled the envelope off of the window, "It wasn't there when I left this morning."

"Well, maybe you should open it and see what's inside." Yusuke suggested trying to lead the idiot even further into his plan. "Good idea Urameshi!" Kuwabara tore open the envelope and pulled out the folded note from inside. Kuwabara quickly read the letter and gasped.

The letter read,  
_'Dear Kazuma,_  
_I have taken your dear Eikichi and you will never see him alive again, unless you do as I tell you. Kazuma, you must shave your head bald, dress up as a women, and then make out with the ugliest person you know. Once you have done all of these things, and only then, will I return Eikichi to you._  
_Signed,_  
_Y, S.D._  
_P.S. If you don't fulfill all of these things before the day is over I will take a second hostage, a certain ice demon named Yukina.'  
_  
Kuwabara crumpled the note up in his fist. "What did it say?" The detective asked with an air of mock innocence about. "Never mind that!" Kuwabara yelled, turning to the spirit detective, "You have to help me shave my head!" "What!" Yusuke asked pretending to be surprised. "It's the only way to get Eikichi back! You gotta help me, Urameshi!" Kuwabara pleaded, clutching onto the front of Yusuke's green, uniform jacket. "Okay fine," The half-demon conceded, "Let's at least do this in the bathroom." The two went into Kuwabara's restroom, Yusuke and completely shaved the poofy hair right off of Kuwabara's big, empty head.

"There you go, Chrome Dome." Yusuke said as he turned off the electric razor. "Thanks Urameshi," The now shaven Kuwabara said, "Now I have to go get some things out f Shizuru's room. You can just wait in my room while I get them." Kuwabara ran off to his sister's room and Yusuke could barely contain his laughter as he watched the now shaven head of the want-to-be spirit detective bob out of the room.  
About five minutes after that he re-entered the room now all trussed up in his sister's clothes. Kuwabara was wearing a simple, black dress that came to midthigh and was tight in all the wrong places, making Yusuke nearly vomit in his own mouth. "I'm just going to assume that this is just another thing you have to do to get your cat back, and not just some weird fetish of yours." The spirit detective said as he looked up at the oaf from his spot on Kuwabara's bed.

"Just shut up Urameshi!" Kuwabara yelled as he blushed slightly, "I have one more thing to do and then I'll get my precious Eikichi back." The chromed domed oaf moved towards Yusuke, and before the spirit detective could even give a yelp of surprise Kuwabara straddled the brown-eyed boy's lap and caught hold of his lips.

"Mmh!" The half-demon tried to push the large idiot off of him. Kuwabara leaned back and said, "I'm sorry Urameshi, but the note said that I have to make out with the ugliest person I know to get Eikichi back." Kuwabara went to lean back into the kiss.

"Stop!" Yusuke yelled, pushing back baldy's face, "First off, how the flying fuck am I the ugliest person you know? What about Genkai or that ugly-ass blue ogre that's always following Koenma around? Secondly, your stupid cat hasn't even been kidnapped! It's at the vet you fucking retard!" Yusuke pushed the stunned oaf off of him and marched out of the house. As Shizuru turned the corner onto her street, cat carrier in hand, she walked past the muttering spirit detective mumbling something along the lines of, "Fucking cross dresser ... I'm not that ugly." 'What on Earth was that all about?' Shizuru thought as she walked into her house.

"Little bro', I'm back from getting his rabies shots." Shizuru called out as she turned into the living room. "What the hell do you think you're doing!" Shizuru demanded as she found Kuwabara sitting on the couch bald-headed and wearing her favorite dress. "That's my favorite dress, if you're going to cross dress then at least get your own dresses!"

Thank you for reading my fanfiction! Please review to let me know what you thought of it and/or there is anything that I need to improve on. Thanks!


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